I hate my big boobs.?

Hello. Im a fifteen going on sixteen year old girl. I have 36H boobs. Yes Im a freak :) I have been having breast since the age of six. Yes im a super freak. Im sorta chubby but not really fat. My boobs are proportional but still to big. Right now i am in the process of losing weight and most people say breast are the first thing you lose but i havent lost any what so ever. All the women on my mom's side have huge disgusting busty nonproportinal boobs! Actually im the smallest in the family. DISGUSTING! My boobs have been a huge insecurity of mine since age 8 (when i got my first c cup)! I want a breast reduction but my mom seems iffy about it. Idk what to do. Big boobs ~***ARENT***~ beautiful and if im not a beautiful woman why should i even be alive. I feel like dying. Why does God hate me so?